Christopher Hilliard

Home | The Last Issue | Submissions | Achieve: 2004-2009 | Essays

Christopher Hilliard is a graduate from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He has co-produced films on YouTube under the name "whatifididfilms.”


my darling



i drew whiskers and promptly erased them because

i did not love

them. All i wanted was a cat i loved.


i drew paws and fur and habits.

i erased them then because

i did not love

the fur or the habits.


And then i gave the cat a face – a face

i could love forever.

Then, i gave it perfect

ears and perfect

eyes and a perfect

tail. Then, i gave it those perfect



i took a breath and looked at the page.

It stood aloof and tall and proud.

i wanted to give it life

to breathe. So, i drew inside it half of a soul. But,

i had no faith

to see it live and eat and knead and yawn and purr and love.

When it did,

i refused to believe.

So, i started to erase it. But,

i failed completely.


The hind claws cut my hand as

it ran from me to the corner of the page.

i cursed

the pain and blessed the blood.


i drew food into a bowl i drew for food and




into a bowl i drew for water.


“Kitty, come and drink. You need it to live.”


It came but did not drink.

It came and sat.

It came and looked at me.

It came and spoke.


“No, I need to drink it so you can live.”